Is it ever “too late” to get divorced or married?

  1. The need for love, companionship, and connection is enduring. Many boomers and seniors find themselves single or unwilling to stay in unfulfilling marriages. So why not reach out and create a deep, loving relationship? And sizzling sex if you want it? What’s stopping you?
  2. If you think it’s too late to find love, think again, especially if you’re a woman. Nowadays, a quarter of all divorces are from couples over 50, with 66% of them initiated by women. Therefore, there is a sizable group men and women 60+ who are eager to create the best relationships of their lives. Dating websites to accommodate boomers and seniors have grown twice as fast as those for any other age group.
  3. If you are turned off by past relationships, or think it’s too much trouble, remember: you may not have youth, but you sure have experience. You know what works and doesn’t work, what you want and what you need. Whatever your age or your reasons are for being single, you’re older and smarter and more capable than you ever were of picking a good partner and making a relationship work. The more you know, the better equipped you are to find Mr. or Ms. Right.
  4. Case in point, Frank and I are the “poster seniors” for boomer and senior relationships: we met when I was 60 and he was 69, had a committed relationship for four years and married in 2008. He was my second husband and I was his 4th, yes 4th, and last wife! We finally got it right and are truly happy. You can be too!
  5. What about aging and health issues? You might have health issues or you might not want to take care of someone who has them. As far as your own issues, you do need to find someone to whom that doesn’t make a difference. Or you might be willing to take care of each other. Communication is the key. As far as not wanting to take care of a sick partner, screening is important. Find out what’s going on with him or her and make good health one of your non-negotiables, but you never know, so be sure that you are both loyal, no matter what.
  6. Since Frank is nine years older than me, I assumed I might have to take care of him. A year later, I got cancer and he helped me recover. A few years after that he went through cancer treatment. We helped each other heal and our relationship grew stronger. “Lovers live longer,” really.
  7. Hormonal issues come into play with boomers and seniors. We often see how postmenopause changes women. As their estrogen decreases, along with oxytocin (the bonding hormone), so does their patience with the status quo. They often don’t have the same drive to keep the family together, or to make everyone, including their kids, happy. Now they want to make themselves happy. They are also more willing to be assertive, aren’t as interested in avoiding conflicts, are less tolerant towards bad behavior towards them and can develop a new sense of purpose and direction and are eager to try new things. Why shouldn’t these amazing women be fulfilled through dating and new committed relationships?
  8. Many boomers and seniors see no reason not to connect and enjoy sex as long as they are able to. It turns out that many are active as long as there’s breath on the mirror. At 60, men have 30%-60% less testosterone. Thus, everything T influences can also be reduced to a greater or less degree including their sex drive, energy, self-confidence and ambition. This is when a guy can start having problems getting an erection, staying hard, feeling fatigued, depressed or irritable, gaining weight and losing muscle mass. Or their sex drive could be alive and well. If you are dating and want or are considering having sex, you need to talk to your potential lover as find out what’s happening with him sexually to make sure you are compatible.
  9. The positives of a mellowing man are that his lower testosterone levels could make him more interested in foreplay, communication and bonding, which can draw you closer. Also, he may want the closeness and sharing and be more capable of being a better mate than he was when he was younger. So women might finally get the kind of connection they always wanted.
  10. Sexually, postmenopausal women who are producing minimal amounts of estrogen might have a low or no sex drive, a dry vagina that makes sex painful, decreased pleasure, sensitivity and an inability to orgasm. To remedy those symptoms women can do hormone replacement therapy or insert various estrogen products in their vagina that go directly into their bloodstreams and don’t increase their estrogen levels. Or, postmenopausal women might have the same or even better libido than before, so again it’s a question of finding the right, compatible person who wants what you want.