What single women need to know about dating single men
Once you have an understanding of how the dating process can work for you, there are some important characteristics that men have that women may not understand and be put off by. Knowing ahead of time can turn what might have been a deal breaker into a better understanding of the real potential in a prospective partner.
- Opposites attract. High E women are drawn to High T men (bad boys). That’s what creates the passion. Women need to be extra careful around these high T men when they are ovulating and their Testosterone is high. Her need for sex may drive her to couple which will produce an oxytocin bond that may be painful to break. He may not stick around at all. If he just wants recreational sex he may not reveal that unless you ask him. If you want more than recreational sex you have to establish that boundary early on. After sex his T blocks oxytocin and he’s ready to move on or go to sleep while you want to cuddle and bond.
- Like attracts like in terms of education, socio-economic status etc. However hormones can overrule. She needs to have clear boundaries until she can determine whether or not he fits her criteria. Guys can be suckered into a relationship with the promise or delivery of sex. They’ll often stick with a woman who is giving them sex for that reason alone, even though it’s not the kind of relationship he wants. He’s programmed to want sex as soon as possible. That doesn’t mean you have to give it to him right away. He doesn’t need foreplay. You have to slow him down if he’s not giving you what you need to get aroused.
- He tends to be independent and is comfortable being alone and not talking a lot. Too much togetherness can leave him feeling smothered and stressed. If he’s been single for a while he’s probably used to taking care of himself and doesn’t like having to adapt his schedule to someone else’s.
- He can’t read facial expression and body language the way you can so he can’t tell if he’s said something wrong or offensive unless you explain it to him. He’s not trying to be rude; he’s just not wired that way. In his brain his communication and observation centers are much different than the woman’s. He likes to talk in bullet points and gets right to the point. If the woman rambles on and on about something without ever coming to a point it can stress a man out because he is always looking for solutions.
- His self-esteem comes from his status and his achievements. If he talks a lot about his job or what he’s done it’s because he feels the need to establish his worthiness to you. He may be feeling nervous and that is what he is most comfortable talking about. He may go on and on without letting you get a word in because he is feeling so insecure in this dating scenario.
- He doesn’t know how important it is to call the next day after sex, or to call at all. You have to tell him. He doesn’t have that oxytocin bond as strongly as the woman does. In fact he’s high on T and not even thinking about the woman or a relationship.
- Women have 10x more oxytocin than men. That means that women bond easier and quicker than men. After orgasm women get a huge boost in Oxytocin. Men do too but they also get also get a boost in testosterone which then blocks the oxytocin so they don’t bond, at least not nearly as much.
- Stress blocks oxytocin. If men or women are stressed there are less likely to have affinity for those who are around them. That means if a couple is quarreling, they are not likely to be in a loving mood.
- He is reluctant to commit because he takes commitment very seriously. He also may have been wounded by previous relationships. Nonetheless if a women wants a commitment she should ask for it and find the reasons he does not want to commit. If the blocks can be overcome then work needs to be done to make that happen. Otherwise she needs to move on.
Remember, you have to know how the airplane works or you could crash. If you don’t know how you work and how your partner works, you could crash.