The Four Stages of Partner Sex
Having sizzling sex on a consistent basis requires advanced knowledge of sexuality and sexual practices and a working, functional relationship. Otherwise it’s a hit or miss proposition. Once you have mastered the requisite sexual knowledge, you can use this technique as a basis to get you to the level of ecstasy you desire.
- Pre-Play is the time before Fore-Play starts and really sets the stage for a blissful, ecstatic experience. This is the time where the connection is established and the stronger, deeper the connection, the more likely that both partners will have that transcendental experience. This is more important for couples who are in long term committed relationships. Both partners have active busy schedules and can fall into boring routine sex. This is also important to the woman because she needs to interrupt her normal patterns and switch gears into love making.
- Some experts say that love making actually starts the day before and begins with conversation. Conversation is vitally important to women because it helps them to feel connected and generates oxytocin the bonding hormone. The conversation doesn’t have to start the day before but when it does it becomes a great lead-in to the romantic encounter. The conversation that creates oxytocin does more than bond at this point. It also generates serotonin which promotes feelings of well- being and reduces anxiety and dopamine which is associated with euphoria and pleasure.
- Getting the environment ready is the first step of Pre-Play. By that we mean cleaning up the space. If you plan to use the bedroom, make sure there aren’t clothes strewn about. Straighten out the sheets. Light candles and incense if you like. Set up the music if you like that. Have the lube and the toys you want readily available.
- The next step is to get together, preferably in the nude and do some stretching exercises. The idea is to get the blood flowing on your bodies and get out of your head. Movement will accelerate that process. Once you have stretched out put on some up-tempo music and dance for a song or two. Then slow the tempo down and do some slow dancing, hugging each other as you dance, stroking and kissing.
- The last step in Pre-Play is to get connected. After the dancing, sit cross-legged on the bed, facing each other knees close or touching. Begin eye gazing by looking deeply into your partners left eye as they look into yours. Once eye contact is established synchronize your breathing. The man should notice her breathing in his peripheral vision and match to her. Do this for at least five minutes.
- Fore-Play is the next stage and this is when the erotic, sensual touching begins. Fore-Play serves two purposes: it quiets her mind and gets her more present in her body. This is important because women have this “To-Do” list that is always running in their minds. It’s best to start with some soft touching and stoking in areas away from her erogenous hot spots. Going straight for the genitals is like shooting a rocket off the airplane without activating the arming switch. It will be a dud. Take the time to stroke her thighs and arms, especially in the backs of the knees, elbows and wrists. Pay attention to her breathing and then move to the breasts and on to the genitals.
- A good way to tell if she is aroused is to notice if her hips are moving and/or if her nipples are erect. Vaginal lubrication is not necessarily a good indicator of arousal and may be an autonomic reaction. Breath rate is another good indicator.
- Once she is aroused you may want to give her oral sex. This is an important consideration because somewhere between 50 and 80 percent of women do not orgasm through intercourse. She needs just as much foreplay for oral sex as she does for genital sex.
- The –Play is the act of genital intercourse. There are many ways to do it and most couples will experiment to find the techniques that work the best for them. What’s important here is the connection. Not just the genital connection but the emotional and spiritual connection. This can be strengthened by deep kissing and eye gazing. Make a conscious effort to feel the love energy you have for each other flowing through your connected bodies. Synchronize your breathing and take the time to prolong the arousal state until you both feel that powerful connection. A good practice is to pull out slightly on the inhale and push in on the exhale, using gentle shallow movements. Using this technique can give long period of ecstasy.
- After-Play is the period after both have orgasmed and are still connected spiritually and energetically. Both have received large doses of oxytocin which bonds them. However the man has also received a large dose of testosterone which blocks the oxytocin. He is now energized and wants to get up and get on with the next thing. If a guy will take the time to cuddle and bond the woman will bond even more deeply to him. This is a good time to use all the sexual energy to channel onto thought so things you would like to create. Sexual energy is one of the most powerful forces in the universe and when you combine it with the energy of your thoughts it can be a magnet to creating the things you want in your life.