The Love Relationship seem to be one of the biggest challenges for humans here on earth, it can also be as rewarding as it is challenging.
When we were researching our markets for love, sex, and relationship advice, it became clear that women were the big self-help and love seekers. Men are often not predisposed to even think about love relationship issues until the problem has become so overwhelming the relationship itself may be in jeopardy. Women ask for divorces 65% of the time, and men take breakups and divorce very hard. Men also tend to abuse drugs more after a broken heart, and their suicide rate is also higher.
Judith: When couples come for counseling, I ask them to make a list of their issues. I start with the men. Usually they’ll say that they think the relationship is pretty good, or have one or two items. Then it’s the woman’s turn. Their list is one or two pages, very articulately expressed.
Why the difference? Some of it has to do with hormones and brain structure. Women are built to nurture. Although both sexes have the bonding hormone oxytocin, women have 10 times more, which among other things enables them to bond deeply with their babies. They also have brain structures that enable them to hear subtlety in sound and to be geniuses at reading faces. The former enables them to distinguish the nuances in their baby’s crying so they know what it needs – food, a changed diaper, etc.. They can also tell from their kids’ expressions what’s going on? Remember how your mother could tell when you were lying? Men’s brains don’t set them up for this kind of perception.
Judith: I recently had a client who was so disgusted with her relationship she was prepared to go to a lawyer. I advised her to go home and be blunt with her husband. In the next session she said he had made 180 degree turn around and was really trying. She asked with great frustration, “Why did it have to come to this for him to change?”
Usually, the threat of leaving and tears are the two biggest attention getters for men. These they can see clearly… Women who expect men to ever see what they can in two seconds are usually sorely disappointed. That’s why women have to learn to say, out loud and in words, what’s going on and what they want. Not that they’ll necessarily get through the first time, but it’s a start. And men, in their turn, have to learn how to listen.
Now we’re entering the big subject of communication, which is too big for this blog post. But stay tuned – we’ll be covering it in detail in our E-books and Tele-seminars… For now, we hope this snippet of information gives you greater insight in how to make your love relationship better. Remember, the goal is to create connection between us. That’s what leads to the joyful coupling that enriches all areas of our lives.