Set the stage

Where do you want to play? In the bedroom or is there another place that you can trick out into your “Fungeon.” Some people set things up in the basement; some use the garage, apartment dwellers have to be even more creative. Where ever you set up, make it clean and nice.

I like to have access to my partner’s body for lots of teasing and caressing or some light flogging. I use a hook in the ceiling (find a joist) or one of those over the door hooks so that my partner has her arms held up and away from her body. I use a two foot piece of wooden closet pole with an eye bolt in the middle, to attach to the ceiling, and eye bolts in each end that I attach the wrist cuffs to with snap latches. I use another two foot closet pole to attach the ankle cuffs to keep the legs spread. I don’t recommend doing suspension because it’s hard on the joints and gets uncomfortable very quickly. I also put eye bolts at each corner of the bed so that I can tie my partner spread-eagled to the bed.

Another part of setting the stage is the lighting. Make is soft and warm. Use candles when appropriate. Don’t make it too dark because the visual effects are part of the whole scenario. You might want to create a playlist for your games as well. Music always adds a nice touch.

Gather the toys

The first thing I recommend is a set of cuffs. People often think of tying their partner up with ropes. Not a good idea, unless you are well versed in rope bondage. Ropes done improperly can cut off the circulation and become uncomfortable too quickly. They might also be difficult to get out of in a hurry if the necessity arises. A nice set of cuffs are a good investment. I also use snap latches that I bought at a hardware store, where I got the closet pole and eye bolts. The next thing I would have is a light suede flogger. Some of the rubber and hard leather flogger can be more painful than I would like. This whip looks mean but has a soft feel to it and while it makes a nice ‘thwack’ when applied carefully, it doesn’t hurt. There are lots of other toy options you can get and I recommend you check out these web sites and see what tickles your fancy, (so to speak): AdamEvetoys.com, freddyandeddy.com. I especially like Freddy and Eddie. They are a local couple who give great reviews for each of the products they sell.

 

Costumes

For me, costumes are a big part of the game. Seeing my partner in a shelf bra and thigh high stocking and those spike heels is a big part of the turn on. There are things for me to wear as well. It’s fun to look through the on-line catalogs and pick out things you both might like. Adamevetoys has a fun selection and of course there’s always Fredrick’s of Hollywood at fredricks.com.

Make agreements

Reading stories like Fifty Shades of Grey or Anne Rice’s Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, however it’s a good idea to talk things over so that you both have something of an understanding of what you are going to do. It’s also a good idea to agree on a ‘safe word’ to use in case the going gets too rough. The reason to use a safe word is two-fold. It provides a clear communication to stop whatever is happening. It also lets the partner being ‘done’ to playfully say stop, no, no when they really want more. It’s part of that game.

Another thing to decide is who is going to be in control. Who will be the dominant and who will be the submissive. Who is the doer and who is the doee. It’s ok to take turns.

Play

I have always considered B&D games as a part of foreplay. The scenario that I set up may not be conducive to actually having intercourse. If that is the case, I simply unclip my sweetie and we move the action to the bed where we will probably not bother with the bondage because we are so hot to get into each other.

Play the way you have agreed to play and check with your partner periodically to see if everything is ‘OK’ and have fun with it.