Couples Aiming for a Better Relationship
Even if your relationship is good,
it’s possible to improve it.
Even if your relationship is in trouble,
it’s possible to turn it around.
What makes an intimate relationship so valuable is the profound closeness we have with our mates. We open our hearts, join our bodies, and unite our souls.
Keeping closeness alive requires:
- Understanding and appreciating our gender differences
- Mutual respect and support
- The desire and ability to fulfill each other’s needs
- A team dedicated to the goal of creating a loving, lifelong relationship
- Good communication skills
- Knowing how to handle the inevitable conflicts
Are any of these missing from your marriage or committed relationship? Are you at a loss to know what to do about it?
Many Marriage and Committed Relationships Have Troubles
It’s very painful when the connection to your partner breaks, when conflict tears it apart or when distance grows between you. If there are kids, the stakes of keeping the family together are even higher. Just because your relationship is in trouble doesn’t mean it has to stay that way. Most successful couples readily admit that they had their ups and downs, but that they worked through them.
Rare are the wise, proactive people who act when their problems first arise. Most couples wait until the conflicts have put their relationship at risk. By this time emotions run high and buttons are red hot. Most would like to save the relationship, but many fear their differences are too great, or doubt that they can be overcome. Very occasionally a man or woman just wants to end it as peacefully as possible.
Many couples have troubles like these:
- Not being a team
- Engaging in a power struggle
- Having no or bad relationship models
- Having patterns of behavior that ensure failure
- Having personal baggage or fixed ideas that sabotage their relationship
- Not being able to say what they need
- Not being able to listen to their mate’s needs and take them seriously
- Unwilling to take responsibility for their part in problems
- Not able to work through conflicts and problems
- Not able to accept or respect who their partner is
- Distrusting their partner
- Having parenting or In-law issues
- Having financial issues
- Having intimacy issues
- Keeping harmful things they are doing a secret
- Having a secret sex life
- Having sexual issues
What can you do?
Don’t give up hope! We’ve seen many couples work together to solve their problems and bring the love, sex and joy back into their relationships. But it does take work.
Relationships don’t create themselves. Like anything else you want in life, great relationships and sizzling sex require vision, time, energy and training. Maybe you and your partner don’t have a mutual vision for your relationship and so are not working towards it. Perhaps the relationship isn’t a priority, so it’s not getting the time and energy it needs to be healthy and thrive. Or your parents weren’t exactly healthy role models, so you’re lacking some basic tools to build a fulfilling relationship or to repair the inescapable problems. Therefore, you can start fixing your relationship (and your sex life) by creating a vision together, prioritizing your relationship, giving it the time and energy it needs and getting the tools. Easier said then done, right?
Nothing’s going to change until you commit to changing it. Your first step is always the decision that you will take responsibility to do whatever is necessary to make your relationship better. That means dedicating yourself to getting the knowledge, tools and any help you need. Obviously, you’re on your way, because you’re reaching out and reading this.
We Can Help
Both as trained professionals and as two humans who have been around the block, we know what it takes to make sex and relationships not just work, but soar. Take a look at our blogs and videos. Valuable E-courses are on their way. We also offer counseling and coaching. Frank specializes in helping men of all ages. Call Judith or Frank at: 310-393-3536 to schedule an appointment.
Our new manual, So THAT’S Why They Do That! Men, Women & Their Hormones is packed with insight, down-to-earth information, and concrete tools that will enable you to see and do things differently. We believe it’s a life changer.
We Wrote the Manual With You in Mind
Really. Nothing is more basic to sex and relationship happiness than understanding the biology that shapes your and your partner’s thoughts, emotions, drives and actions. You will use this understanding every single day of your life. We wish we had this information when we were teenagers. Yet, in couple’s counseling, it became very clear that a huge number of conflicts were the result of men and women:
- Not understanding how the opposite sex works
- Not learning how to communicate to or deal with the opposite sex
- Thinking their partner is choosing to do something they don’t like, when in fact it’s a characteristic of his or her gender
- Having unrealistic expectations that their partner may not be able to fulfill because of gender differences
- Not understanding the impact that the huge hormonal changes of pregnancy and motherhood, and andropause and menopause has on their relationship
We can attest that giving them the information about male and female hormones has led to better communication, resolved long-standing conflicts and created a new appreciation for their partner. Also, better sex. So THAT’S Why They Do That! Men Women And Their Hormones can do the same for you.